Saturday, July 18, 2009

Looking Back and Berating

The last few months have been hard on me, and it's all my fault. Because my A1c and other numbers were not high enough, Healthspring, my Medicare plan, kicked me off of Januvia around six months ago, which left me all on my own to control my type 2 diabetes with diet and exercise. Well, I haven't done it.

My numbers have crept up and were the highest they've ever been during the last month. I've felt like crap. Then all this becomes a Catch-22 conundrum of dysfunction. I'd feel better if I were more active. I don't feel good enough to get out and move around. And on it goes.

During my appointment with my internist last week, he gave me samples of Januvia and wrote another prescription. I told the pharmacist that we were trying again but didn't think they'd approve it. She checked on the computer and amazingly they did! Thank goodness! I was at the point of researching how to get the script filled in Canada.

For the first time ever, my reading got over 300 after a meal several times. It had been over 200 some which is bad enough but that scared the fool out of me. My A1c has always been in the 5's and below. (over 6 is considered diabetic) This time it was 6.6 - highest ever! What really flew all over me was my doctor's saying this is the first time I've been classified as having "uncontrolled diabetes." No, no, no, no no! I will not be called uncontrolled! That motivated me and the pills enabled me to find the track or wagon to get back on. I don't want to have a heart attack, liver damage, or be on insulin. Exercise is not an option. I have to do it. Activity is the most important factor in this equation.

So eating properly, exercising, and losing weight are vital. What's with me for being self-destructive? I must be completely nuts. I'm pretty sure I need to see a therapist. I walked around the lake today and have been cooking and planning. Now I'm confessing to people I know read my blog and all those lurkers I don't know are reading it. I hear from various sources that some relatives, friends, and others do but have no clue who all does or not. Anyway, I'm making a public confession and am accountable.


frogponder said...

You and me both! I'm on the same med. My eating is pretty good. Exercise - what works best for me is to put on my ipod and do my housework at top speed. I lift dishes out of the dishwasher, one at a time and with exaggerated motions. I take stuff to put put away an item or two at time. The music is the key, it seems to put my brain and body into gear.
It is what I will do most consistently.
(We sold our treadmill yesterday!!!)
Today's word verification is: tryings

Sam said...

Joy, Joy, Joy.
There is nothing I can possibly say. Here I sit in the same situation. Knowing well enough that all I dont do will not help either. You asked why the possible change in jobs? This reason alone. To much sitting, and not enough doing. My motivation will be to get healthy so that I can be around for my nieces. My doctor said it like this:
Exercise moderately. No marathon's needed.
Eat sensibly, and everything will fall in place.
Easier said than done.
Sometimes I think getting off of crack cocaine, or herion would be easier than eating less, and exercising more.
Baby steps is what I'm always told.

Snowbrush said...

Wow, I was so sorry to read of your health--and Medicare--problems. Please take good care of yourself.

Howard said...

Take care, babycakes, and be damn proud you said what you did today. It's not about who is listening, it is about what you are saying. Way to go!

Vicki said...

Come T-Tapp with me! Seriously, we will work together to get your diabetes under control.

Anonymous said...

You should see a registered dietician at your clinic, if there is one. She will tell you what to eat and how much. Good luck to you, Joy, I wish you only the best!

David Dust said...

Dear Auntie Flame -

We really have to change how we do things. But why is it so damn hard?!?


Joy said...

Thanks, Everyone! It's not that I don't know what to do. I could write books about what to do. It's making myself do it that's hard. Getting off of Januvia made a huge difference, so now that I've realized I might not get to keep having it, I need to do what my doctor told me to do. Maybe this was the scare I needed.

I really appreciate everything all of you said but especially the feelings behind your words. :-)

Ms. Moon said...

It's a process. It's all a process. Check out Weight Watcher's Core program if they're still doing that. It's all about healthy carbs and eating lots of good, filling food. One step at a time.
Be patient and loving with yourself. Okay?

Miss Ginger Grant said...

I'm telling you, the Nutrisystem Men's Diabetic Program is saving my life! I'm not diabetic yet but I am well on my way, so this program keeps me on the straight and narrow without having to think a lot about it! I've lost 40 pounds in 2 months! I'd give gift certificates if they sold them!

Joy said...

I've looked into that Miss G and seriously considered the diabetic plan enough that I might do it. I don't like to cook except breakfast, so that would help.

Wonder Man said...

Stay strong, Joy.

Bob said...

You can do it Joy. Sometimes you gotta get kicked in the pants, but you can do it.