Week Two! Samba and Foxtrot! I think we can tell who will be in the semi-finals and finals by now.
My predictions for the dance-off tomorrow night are the Woz and either Steve-O or Denise. Holly is also in the bottom group. A lot of people will vote for Maks, so that might keep Denise in it a while. Even I can't do that, though!
Middle Group: Chuck, Ty, Lawrence, David (but Chuck could move up which I hope happens) Lawrence and David will probably go before Chuck and Ty, but it's early yet.
Top Group: Gilles, Shawn, Melissa, Lil' Kim
Denise Richards & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Score: 5/6/5 = 16
Critique: Oh, that was painful to watch! She was awkward, clumsy, and stiff all at once - no shoulders, no hips, no passion. The judges agreed, but Len didn't think it sucked as much as Bruno and Carrie Ann did. I don't know if the choreography wasn't that Latin or if her dancing was so bad that it wouldn't have made a difference. Maybe Maks is ready to get rid of her. Karina is dancing with the Woz, so maybe they have plans for being off the show early. Debi summed her up best when she described her as a Barbie doll brought to life and stunned by it all.
Chuck Wicks & Julianne Hough
Score: 8/7/8 = 23
Critique: Chuck said the judges must think he can dance just because he's with Julianne but that he grew up on a potato farm and never danced. He did a good job this week! Carrie Ann will say something about Julianne's feet coming off the floor. Whoa! She didn't! She's slipping! Julianne and Chuck look so good together and danced well for it to be the second week. Good scores from the judges tonight. I hope they are in it until the finals. They danced to that Sugarland song "All I Want to Do" which gets stuck in my head with that "woo hoo hoo hoo hoo" stuff that I don't like.
Holly Madison & Dmitry Chaplin
Score: 5/6/6 = 17
Critique: Dmitry became frustrated with Holly during rehearsal because he thought she wasn't trying. Shades of Denise Richards at times, but she shook her shoulders more and her hips somewhat. No passion in her dancing either. Carrie Ann did notice the foot off the floor with her. Len summed it up when he told her she was like a match hot on the top and wooden on the bottom. So true! Dmitry wants Jewel back. So do I. And I want Dmitry back next season!
Steve-O & Lacey Schwimmer
Score: 5/5/5 = 15
Critique: Steve-O was stressed out and wanted to prove that he could dance. Well, he did OK but was obviously in pain. His face is so expressive like it's made of rubber. Len said it was a proper foxtrot. The beginning of it was good but then he made mistakes. He was in a lot of pain and danced through it.
Lawrence Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska
Score: 7/6/7 = 20
Critique: Lawrence gave up his golf game, which he said he never does, for dancing. He makes me miss Emmitt Smith with his moves and great smile. He did pretty well and had some good footwork, which we expect from football players. The judges said he had rhythm and was showing more confidence.
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas
Score: 9/9/9 = 27
Critique: This was pretty! She was smooth and graceful. It was enjoyable to watch for sure! Her dress wasn't flattering because it had cut-outs that made her look too large in the waist and stomach. The judges raved and praised! Beautiful movement!
Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke
Score: 9/9/9 = 27
Critique: Oh my!! Smoking hot!! Latin music, passion, and sexy moves! The judges loved it, and so did I! He's handsome and seems like a nice guy and can dance! I'll be voting for him! Cheryl has been a favorite from the first season! Gilles's mother flew in from France to watch him dance. I predict that he will win.
David Alan Grier & Kym Johnson
Score: 8/8/8 = 24
Critique: He was much better than last week. Bruno said it was like taking the foxtrot to Broadway. The judges were pleased. He worked hard and it showed! Well done.
Steve Wozniak & Karina Smirnoff
Score: 4/3/3 = 10
Critique: Another trip to the hospital! Steve pulled a hamstring but managed to rehearse after some time off of it. He has so much fun that he didn't want to have to drop out. I don't care what the judges say, he was better in some ways than Denise and Holly and worse in others like that worm thing. He has enthusiasm, some moves, and goes for it. Carrie Ann said the novelty wears off. Len said it was terrible from start to finish. Bruno looked disgusted and said it was the worst he'd ever seen. Uh, remember Master P and Billy Ray Cyrus? They didn't even get scores that low, did they? If he were a blonde bimbo with boobs, they'd have given him fives and sixes.
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani
Score: 9/9/9 = 27
Critique: Elegant, graceful, and enjoyable to watch! The judges praised her dancing. Good job!
Lil' Kim & Derek Hough
Score: 8/8/9 = 25
Critique: Lil' Kim rocked that samba! She's a contender. That was fun to watch! The judges loved it and gave her the scores I expected.
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower
Score: 8/8/7 = 23
Critique: Ol' Ty is coming along! Look at him in that top hat making Fred Astaire moves! For some reason Chelsie tripped but recovered quickly. Carrie Ann said Ty was most improved and said he handled it so well when she fell by holding her up and continuing to carry on. They all complimented his dancing. Jewel smiled, and I wished she were in the competition again.
The Funny Papers
19 minutes ago