Friday, March 27, 2009

Deteriorata

I have this framed and hanging on my bathroom wall. I thought it was hilarious the first time I heard it and still do. Remember it?

National Lampoon recorded this song in 1972 as a parody of the spoken-word Desiderata. Lyrics were by Tony Hendra. -- From the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album.

Deteriorata

Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three lefts do.
Wherever possible put people on "HOLD".
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Carefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
For a good time, call 606-4311.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Sioux City.
You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up.

5 comments:

mistress maddie said...

I don't believe I have seen this before. It is pretty funny I have to say. And it's in your bathroom. It is nice to have some reading materials on hand I guess! LOL

Bob said...

I like it, but hanging it in the bathroom?
I picture people visiting you, Joy, and spending hours in the bathroom!

David Dust said...

I've never seen this before - but it's fantastic.

I think the absolute perfect place to display this is the bathroom. :)

XOXOXOXOXOXO

frogponder said...

I'm passing this along :-)

Joy said...

This is hanging on the wall beside the vanity where someone could see if while washing their hands, become curious, and read it on their way out. I'm not sure how many notice it but some do. I just love it.

Oh, I have a lot of reading material in the bathroom! Doesn't everyone? I never miss an opportunity to read.