DWTS - Second Night

Tom Bergeron is calling on them one at a time to let the dancetestants know who gets to stay and dance this week while they stand there and wait. So here they are in order, but not necessarily in the order of votes except for last place.

• Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer

Dance: Quickstep
Score: 21

Peppy, energetic, and fun! AND he kissed a girl!! He also overdid the hugging. It's OK, Lance - we know. Len didn't like his posture and hold (score 6). The also gay Bruno likee (8). Carrie Ann not so much (7). Notice that I haven't started calling her names yet? I'm waiting for her to piss me off before I do that. We'll see how long that takes. So far she's been OK.

• Misty May-Treanor and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Dance: Mambo
Score: 21

Maks had a hard time getting her to move in that sexy mambo way. I believe she just about did it. Misty is taller than I realized because her volleyball partner Kerri Walsh is over 6' tall, which made her look shorter. She's almost as tall as Maksim, who said she has Stacy Keibler legs, and they were about 5' long - almost as tall a I am. So there. I'm pulling for her and would like for her to win or at least be in the finals. We all know I like to see Maks on there as long as possible. Something about those bad boys! The judges were complimentary but gave some constructive criticism about her shoulders. All 7's.

• Maurice Green and Cheryl Burke

Dance: Mambo
Score: 21

They were all spangled out in gold. Len won't like those street dancing moves in the middle of a mambo. Bruno does, though, even though he said it strayed from the mambo. Carrie Ann liked it. I was right. Len asked why he did the "nonsense in the middle" and said not to do that any more. I like Cheryl and always enjoy seeing what she choreographs. I think she's gained a little weight - marriage, I guess. Don't get me wrong because she looks hot and fit. Just saying. All 7's from the judges.

• Brooke Burke and Derek Hough

Dance: Quickstep
Score: 26

They might be in this until the semi-finals or longer. She did very well and looks amazing. She's had four children, and the youngest is just 6 months old! Len said best dance so far just as he did last night (8). Bruno raved in hyperbole as he does sometimes (9). Carrie Ann said fantastic (9)! So there you have it. My goodness!

• Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas

Dance: Mambo
Score: 16

Cloris said she found out she was older than the mambo and is a strike to the heart. Corky said she was fiesty but reminded him of his mother, so he knew how to handle her. Wonder if Brian feels that way about me? I'll never know.

This is pretty bad. Remember how Jerry Springer sort of walked through some dances and Adam Corolla rode through one and George Hamilton acted some? Well, she's walking and twirling but not really dancing. I don't think I could do that much, so good for her at 82! However, she doesn't need to stay on much longer. It's sort of painful to watch even though the audience applauded. The judges scores reflected some generosity. She had to be bleeped again.

• Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo

Dance: Quickstep
Score: 23

Alec worked with Toni on her breathing since she kept getting so winded. She looked elegant and is of course beautiful. So his he. She made it through the dance and was worried that she might not since she hadn't in rehearsal. Toni is in the "having a challenge" category with her heart condition along with Marlee Matlin (deaf), Heather Mills (leg and personality), and Tucker Carlson (rhythm and Republican). Carrie Ann said they had good chemistry together (8). Len said she was graceful and glided across the floor (7). Bruno compared her to a fine champagne (8). He had a reason but who can keep up?

• Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson

Dance: Quickstep
Score: 22

This man is amazingly quick and light on his feet and is a contender for sure! I predict that he'll make it to the finals. Of all the athletes, football players are the most agile. Well, except for Apolo Ono and Kristi Yamaguchi who are skaters. Len was critical of his technique but praised the entertainment value (7). Bruno said he is tons of fun (8). Carrie Ann agreed with Bruno about the fun and with Len about the technique (7). The scores might not be as high as I'd have given him, but I'm not a dancer - just judgemental. I like his personality, and since I'm not a football fan, I don't know anything about him.

• Ted McGinley and Inna Brayer

Dance: Mambo
Score: 19

I like Ted and am glad he'll be around a while longer. He sporadically moves well or stands there. Carrie Ann pointed out that he is awkward (6), but she was signing autographs before the camera was on her as he was walking to the judges and stumbled over his name! She couldn't have waited until a commercial? How rude! Len said that with hard work anything is possible and that he did a commendable mambo (6). Bruno told him to learn to listen to the music and not lose the musicality (7). Inna has an odd belly button. Inna has an large innie. It's distracting.

• Cody Linley and Julianne Hough

Dance: Quickstep
Score: 23

Bruno called the youngsters the king and queen of the prom (8). Carrie Ann said he had improved from last night and went from a boy to a man (8). Cougar Ann strikes again! Len said he danced with maturity (7). They have one of the top scores along with those other 23's.

Well, we're down to the last four. Who will it be? Getting closer! The tension mounts! I predict that Jeffrey will not dance tonight and will go home. I hate that for Edyta. I like her and her husband Alec Mazo, who will be sticking around a while if Toni can hold up. I hope Rocco and Susan Lucci stay. Kim Kardashian probably will, but she can go soon. Sorry, Mark. That's how it goes sometimes.

• Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff

Dance: Mambo
Score: 21

Yea, Rocco! He's here but having a problem moving his mambo hips. I really like him, but he won't get to stay very long. Hey, he did much better than I thought from the rehearsals. Len said he was much better than last night (7). Bruno agreed that he was stunned with his improvement (7). Carrie Ann said he was so sexy (7). Karina was thrilled and said he had hips of fury tonight. Rocco said everyone should dance. He's probably right.

• Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani

Dance: Quickstep
Score: 22

Last night Carrie Ann said that Susan should gain some weight since dancing is so athletic. She definitely can't afford to lose any weight, and all of them do that during DWTS. She did better with the quickstep and looked great. Gosh, she's just a few years younger than I am, and there's no way I could do any of that. She's graceful, elegant, and energetic. Carrie Ann said it was the strength, power, and charisma she expected from her (7). Len said he felt smug because he said ballroom would be her forte and was right (7). Bruno said she had class, glamour, and elegance and this is her element (8).

• Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas

Dance: Mambo
Score: 18

The judges said they didn't connect last night. Kim is so California celebutante. Mark did get her to shake her hips some but not enough. She definitely has one. Oh funny! The song they performed for their dance was "I Like Big Butts"! LOL Bruce Jenner was in the audience since he's her stepfather. He also has Olympic gold medals. Bruno said she is gorgeous but drives him crazy because she doesn't use what she has (6). Len said she needs to perform and sizzle but she doesn't (6). Carrie Ann took up for her because she had to stand there all that time to wait to find out if she's going to dance or not (6). Kim told Samantha that she's really shy and reserved and this is hard for her. OK.

Just as I thought, Jeffrey Ross goes home, and Edyta Sliwinska has to leave early after being second last season. He was gracious about it and said he was more about ha-ha-ha instead of cha-cha-cha.

Let the voting begin!